Whatever This Is…
by summerd123
Summary: After a motorcycle accident, Jax and Tara are finally honest with their feelings. Tara and Gemma are both terrified of eachother. My take on how the romance for J&T started. Teenage years. For now. Please leave a review if you like the story! Any feedback would be appreciated :)
1. Chapter 1

First Fanfiction! I love SOA and obviously Jax and Tara! Season 7 is hard to watch…but I am invested and will see it through to the end! I understand Kurt's vision….you can't really live a life like this and have a happily ever after. I hope the kids get some sense of peace…but I wouldn't be surprised if it ends with the cycle continuing for the Teller's.

There are so many good J&T teenage fanfics. This is my take…only Kurt know what really happened! I think the emotions that pull J&T together are important as well as Gemma's take on the whole thing. Let's face it…she is the reason Jax and Tara had most of their problems! And as much as I hate her….I do believe that she loved and empathized with Tara in many ways. She just loved Jackson and the club more and is clearly a psychopath (even tho she thinks she isn't! hah). I don't really know where this is headed. I never thought I would do anything like this!….Let me know what you think :). I use a lot of the same lingo because I plan to stay true to the facts. Kurt Sutter & Co. own everything. Not me…I am just a fan!

Title: Whatever This Is….

Words: 3, 099

Chapter 1

It was a summer morning…. a beautiful morning by Northern California standards. Tara Knowles, 16, looked out of her window, contemplating where the day may take her… She looked at the sun, heard the birds chirp, when suddenly, her moment of peace was interrupted by the roar of a motorcycle and a large crash. Her stomach dropped. She dropped her glass of water, and as it shattered across the floor, she ran out of her front door to check on source of the commotion. She felt like she was moving in slow-motion. It was a terrifying sight. Tara felt like she was kicked in the stomach. She fell to the ground in panic. Almost automatically, she picked herself up and ran out to the motorcycle. And, as he she feared, Jax Teller, lay unconscious on the ground, bruised, and bleeding in front of her…

…That same morning, Jackson 'Jax' Teller, 16, was waking up after a night of partying and drinking at the clubhouse, with a crow eater wrapped around his body. His mouth was dry, his head was pounding, and he estimated that the crow eater next to him was about 15 years older than him. Suddenly he felt sick…physically and emotionally. He ran to the bathroom, heat rushing up, he leaned over the toilet and expelled what was in his body….20 shots of Jack and Jameson he thought?…_Disgusting. _He could smell the crow eater's musk on his body…._Even more disgusting, _he thought.

While he was in the bathroom, head resting on the toilet, Jackson wondered what his life would be if he was born into a different family. What other 16-year-old was sleeping with older women? Drunk? Unsupervised? Jax Teller did not know what 'normal' was, but he was highly aware that he was leading a very different life than most. At times he enjoyed the freedom of his life, but at other times, he craved what he was missing; dinners every night at 5 with a mother, father, and brother; sneaking out at night…worried about actually getting into trouble; participation on a sports team. Yes, Jackson Teller was missing what he didn't have. He abruptly got up, splashed water on his face, rinsed his mouth with some wash, stormed out of the clubhouse, jumped on a vacant motorcycle and drove off.

Before Jax even knew where he wanted to go, it's almost as if the bike automatically began to drive towards _her _house. Tara Knowles. He didn't know how to classify his relationship with _her_, but it was unlike any other relationship that he has had. They had become friends over the years, but not everyday friends. But he wouldn't call her an acquaintance. Their relationship was more emotionally intimate. In many ways they were opposites, but at a basic level, they were both people who had suffered great loss and they were both fiercely loyal, passionate people. It's funny Jax thought, they always seemed to find their way to each other when one of them was having an emotional, existential experience or dilemma. And today was one of those days for Jax. He took heart in the fact that he would soon be with Tara. Other than his best friend Opie, she was the only person that gave him hope. He breathed a sigh of relief and had a moment of genuine clarity, when suddenly, he felt his bike slip out from under him and he blacked out…

3 Days Later…

It was a Monday morning, and Gemma Teller-Morrow sit in the hospital, in her son's room, watching him breath. He was in a coma, as a result of injuries sustained from a motorcycle accident several days ago. The doctors expected a full recovery. Gemma was angry with herself. She loved her son more than anyone could ever truly understand. It was almost unhealthy. It was because of this love that she kept her son close to her and the motor cycle club, Sons of Anarchy, SAMCRO. She knew that her son was drinking, smoking, and fornicating. But, he was with his future brothers. It gave him a sense of family, which was something she wanted him to feel after the loss of his younger brother, Thomas, and his father John, so close in proximity. She considered the club members her family and trusted them with her son. She also realized that she was distracted. Gemma held onto many secrets. Secrets that should destroy a person. The weight that she carried in secrets became her motivation to keep her family and her club close and to keep outsiders away. Sure she was only an 'Old Lady', but she was the matriarch. It was in this moment that she promised herself that no one would take her son away and no one would threaten her club. Gemma was on a mission to keep her family close.

Suddenly, there was a quiet knock at the door. Gemma moved quickly, opened the door and discovered Tara Knowles on the other side. "Tara. Good Morning, sweetheart," asserted Gemma. "Good Morning Mrs. Morrow," responded Tara. "How is he doing? Will he be awake soon. I am sorry, I know visiting is for family, it's just I heard the accident happen and I was the first there, and I've known Jax since kindergarten…I am worried…" Tara rambled nervously.

Gemma made Tara _SO_ nervous. In fact, Tara would say that Gemma terrified her. Gemma was so protective of Jax, so intense about the club, and very mistrusting of outsiders. Gemma has mostly been nice to Tara, but in a back handed sort of way. It was nice mixed with intimidation. "Sweetheart, it's not a problem….I have seen some terrible things in my life…I understand that you want to check-in on Jackson… good to know that you've learned manners…even though you have had to raise yourself," Gemma responded devilishly.

And _there_ it was Tara thought…Gemma Teller-Morrow had this uncanny ability to make her feel appreciated and hated all in the same moment. Gemma was right, Tara has had to raise herself, and it was because of this that Tara was very strong. She did not take crap from anyone. However, she knew that picking a fight with Gemma, in the hospital of all places, where Jax was in a coma, would be silly. In any other circumstance, Tara would have fought back and insulted the shit out of Gemma. Tara's restraint always annoyed Gemma. She was one of the only people, and at only 16, to make Gemma feel challenged without even speaking.

Gemma has always kept a close eye on Jax and Tara. She knew that they had an unspoken connection. A connection that was deeply rooted in Charming, in the common bond they shared having both lost a parent early in life, and in the need to take care of one another. Some days, she thought their connection was sweet, and other days she found it terrifying. Clay, her second husband and current President of SAMCRO, constantly reminded Gemma that Jax and Tara were only 16-years-old. That, as far as they knew, Jax and Tara were just friends. But, somewhere deep down, Gemma knew this was more than a silly young love connection. She was a passionate woman and could sense deeper connections. She knew that she would have to tread carefully. She could see that Jax and Tara were on the verge of crossing into romantic territory, and this frightened her. She knew she would have to work with Tara and not against her.

"Well sweetheart, I think Jackson will be waking up real soon. I am glad you are here. I am sure Jax will be too. Any chance you know why Jax was coming to your house the morning of the accident?" Gemma asked.

Tara knew Gemma was fishing for information. "No, I don't," Tara responded calmly. "I don't really know that he was coming to my house. Opie lives a few blocks away and Jax has to pass my house to get there. In fact, Jax and I hadn't spoken in a few weeks. We don't see each other all that often when school is not in session." Gemma knew this was true. Tara was not a hang around or a crow eater in training. She was never around the clubhouse and Jax spent every waking moment at the clubhouse in the summer. Obviously he spent the night at the clubhouse before the accident as evidenced by his elevated blood alcohol content level the morning of the accident, Gemma thought. Luckily, Chief Unser was on SAMCRO's payroll, and he made that information disappear. Gemma did bear some guilt. She will have to pay closer attention to her son.

"So Tara, tell me, how has your summer been?" Gemma asked. "It's been quiet….My dad works everyday and is out every night, so I have just spent a lot of time at home. I see friends sometimes. But mostly home. I guess it has been relaxing," Tara responded, smiling sheepishly.

In this moment, Gemma looked at her with great empathy. She could tell Tara didn't trust anyone. How could she? Her mother dead and her father a drunk. No siblings. No extended family in Charming. Gemma reflected upon her own upbringing and while she had both parents, her mother was a cold woman. In her childhood, most of the time, Gemma felt like a loner and that is what pushed her to find her own family, SAMCRO. So she felt like she understood a little more about Tara. This knowledge terrified Gemma. Tara had all the qualities of someone who could latch onto the club and the lifestyle, and more frighteningly onto her son. So the next statement that came out of Gemma's mouth shocked Gemma the most…

"Well Darlin, I would like to invite you to dinner at my house. I am having a big dinner on Friday. I want to thank you for calling 911 and watching over Jax the morning of the accident. Your quick action may have saved his life. It's the least I can do," Gemma shared.

Tara was taken aback. This woman who terrified her also made her feel like she was inviting and warm. Tara felt like an orphan. When was the last time she was invited to a family dinner. She had eaten alone every night since her mother died at age 9. The invitation warmed her heart, but also scared her. While Tara was not scared of SAMCRO personally, their actions scared her. Charming was a small town, a small town that was protected in a weird way by SAMCRO. So everyone knew of illegal activity, gun-running, and violence, but turned the other cheek. In spite of her friendship with Jax, Tara kept SAMCRO at a distance because it was a life she did not understand and violence scared her. She was afraid to accept an invitation to a SAMCRO family dinner. What would happen if she liked them? She was afraid yet intrigued. Just as Tara was about to respond, Gemma and Tara turned to Jax… "You should come babe…Gemma throws a mean family dinner…but first, why am I in the hospital?" Jax mumbled. And just like that, Jax was awake.

Friday, Afternoon before the SAMCRO Family Dinner

Gemma was in her glory. A family dinner. Most importantly, her son was home. After his accident, he sustained a brain injury (concussion) as well as a broken arm and some broken ribs, bumps and bruises. Some memories of the accident were spotty for Jax, but slowly he was remembering what happened and what brought him to Tara's street that morning.

Jax was happy that all of SAMCRO would be at the house, but he was also excited because Tara accepted Gemma's invitation, with Jax's encouragement of course. He knew he wanted to see Tara the morning of the accident, but he wasn't quite sure why. _Who cares_ he thought…he would be seeing her in a few minutes, he asked her to come 1 hour early so they could have some time together before the craziness of the party took hold of the night.

There was a knock at the door. Jax eagerly went to the door, he knew it was Tara. There she was. Beautiful was the word that came to his mind, but Jax also thought that word didn't do her justice. Green eyes, dark hair, little make-up, perfectly fitting clothing. Tara was classy and humble. The complete opposite of the usual fare of women that hung around SAMCRO. She took his breath away.

Although special, Jax never knew what Tara was to him until he woke up from the coma. He realized that he loved her. That's right. Jax realized that he loved Tara Knowles. Tara smiled, "Hi Jax, Mr. and Mrs. Morrow," Tara nodded. "I didn't want to come empty handed so I made a lasagna." Gemma was impressed….16 and making homemade lasagna.

"Tara let's go for a walk…Doc says I have to move around," Jax demanded. "Be back in an hour!" yelled Gemma. Oh shit, Gemma thought to herself… _My son loves her. So much for pussy. Jax is my son. He loves deep, and he is no longer just mine. I don't trust Tara. I don't hate her, I just don't trust her. Her influence over Jax could be dangerous…to me, to the club… I will have to watch this closely…._Gemma knew better than to just demand Jax not speak to her. Keep your enemies closer Gemma thought…

…Tara looked at Jax, smiled and blushed, as they walked through the front doorway and toward the street. She always felt close to Jax, but the accident changed something. Or maybe the accident just made her finally be honest with herself. Jax Teller is the only person who really sees her for who she is. She doesn't let anyone else see her. It's because she doesn't trust. It's because of her absurd childhood. Yes, Jax is the only person who sees her and makes her feel safe. "Jax, I am so glad that you are ok. I was terrified the morning of the accident when I found you. So much blood…So scary…"

Tara continued to talk but Jax was mesmerized by her. She was unlike any other person. He kind of felt like a pussy, but she clearly exerted a control, a pull over him that no one else, other than his mother had. Obviously Tara's pull was different than his mother's, but it was just as strong… "Jax, Jax are you there?," Tara laughed. "Sorry babe, my mind was wandering. It's been an exhausting week. But I have to say, I am really happy that you are here," said Jax.

Jax was beautiful. His blond hair, blue eyes, rugged manliness, and he was a romantic. He was just perfect. "Tara, I remembered what happened the morning of the accident. I was heading to your house. I wanted to talk to you."

Suddenly, Jax's lips met Tara's. It was a perfect kiss, a special moment. The world around them stopped for a minute. Normally Jax didn't even think kissing served a purpose…in fact, he had slept with multiple women and never kissed them…. "Jax," Tara whispered between his lips. Then she pulled away slightly… "Jax, what are we doing?" Tara asked innocently.

Jax looked at Tara, with such a genuine look, with such pride and responded, "Babe, you are important to me. I don't know what _this is _yet, but I know I want to be with you."

"Jax I… I don't know what to say. This scares me. Not you, but us together. I know what you are used to with girls and I am not one of those girls Jackson Teller…. _Jax loved that she called him Jackson Teller when she was being serious_.. If there is anything I have learned is that I deserve to be respected and you can't kiss me and then run off and sleep with a crow eater or whatever those women are…your friendship means too much to me to lose it…and SAMCRO..it's a life I don't understand…" Tara turned away, visibly upset and nervous by revealing her thoughts out loud to Jax.

"Don't be afraid Tara, don't avoid me…I know you feel it too…_I am not going to hurt you_" Jax stated calmly. Jax grabbed her waste lightly with his one hand and turned her around so she was facing him again…"Babe, look at me, I love you."

Tara was shocked…._Did he just say he loved me? I love him too, but should I say it…we aren't even together….He could run out of here tonight and sleep with a whore and then what would those words really mean? I am only 16..do we even know what love is?_

Jax looked directly at Tara without a blink and said, "Babe…I see the wheels spinning. You don't need to say anything back. I am secure with what I know you feel for me. I just want you to know how I feel. We will figure out _whatever this is_ together."

_God he was confident…even a little cocky, which made him even more attractive…_Tara thought to herself.

Jax grabbed her face with his hand and pulled her close again. They kissed again…this second kiss lasted longer and was more intense. The kiss was passionate and all-consuming. Tara let out a moan and Jax inserted his tongue into her mouth. She responded by massaging her tongue against his. He pulled back and bit lightly on her bottom lip before giving her one last peck. It was a perfect kiss. Absolutely perfect.

Tara and Jax both gave each other hope. For Jax, Tara gave him the hope that his life could still have positivity in it despite his destiny of SAMCRO and everything that comes along with it, and for Tara, Jax gave her the comfort that she was no longer alone in the world. She had a person.

"Ok, _Jackson Teller_, we will figure out _whatever this is _together, but I don't want to see you with other girls. Really, that isn't going to work for me. You will see a side of me you have never seen if you are…" Tara stated firmly, turned, grabbed his hand and winked. "Come on…lets go back to your Mom's…"


	2. Chapter 2

In my pre-SOA world, Jax and Tara have known each other and have been close for some time….So I never pictured that Jax and Tara moved slow once they decided to go there with each other. They are too intense. So things will move quickly. I also always pictured Jax as the one being more open about his feelings. Jax grew up feeling loved and with a family around him. Not Tara…she is a little more standoffish. BUT, I never viewed Tara as a prude or shrinking violet, especially since the show insinuated she was reckless and ballsy when she was young. As Maggie Siff has said so many times in interviews, Tara _was _of the outlaw world as a child and teenager. True to SOA form, there will be hurdles and unexpected twists in their relationship…It's always been easy when it's just J&T but it's never been easy when all of the outside influences get involved. Enjoy & LMK what you all think!

I am hoping to update weekly!

SAMCRO Family Dinner

Jax and Tara walked hand in hand up the driveway when they heard "Well, well…"

Opie Winston had been Jax's best friend since, well forever, and Opie, like Jax, has known Tara since kindergarten. Opie was an observant kinda guy. He knew that Jax and Tara had a thing. He would give Jax crap about it…. but Jax would deny, deny, deny. Jax would always talk about how he would never want to be "attached" to one chick. Opie would roll his eyes. He knew his friend better than anyone….well anyone except for Tara Knowles, maybe.

"Hey asshole, good to see you aren't completely broken in half," Opie yelled in Jax's direction. "Thank Op. Your the best," Jax laughed. Jax let go of Tara's hand, Jax and Opie embraced, and Jax immediately grabbed Tara's hand again. Smiling at her. Trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible.

_Jax and Opie had an amazing bond_, Tara thought. Jax's relationship with Opie was something that attracted Tara to Jax. His loyalty to others, and in particular….Jax's loyalty to Opie was apparent to all those around him. It made Tara feel hopeful. For some reason, Tara felt right at home with Jax and Opie. They were always judged by their fathers' occupation (SAMCRO) and Tara was always judged by her father's drunkenness. There was a closeness felt between all of them, even without Jax and Tara's sudden change in status.

Opie gave Jax a head nod, acknowledging his hand-holding with Tara. Opie wasn't surprised at all. If anything, he was surprised it took this long. He had seen this coming from kindergarten.

Jax, Tara and Opie all walked into the house. Gemma immediately spotted Jax and Tara's hands. She wasn't surprised. _Shit_ …what should Gemma do? "Jax and Tara, you got something to announce?," Gemma questioned loudly. Tara looked at Gemma, and there was an unspoken exchange. This time, however, Tara did not back down. She continued to hold Jax's hand and did not blink. Jax could sense her desire not to show that she was intimidated…. It turned him on. "Ma, really? I just got home and we have a house full of people. Give us a break," Jax demanded. "Okay sweetheart, just want to make it clear, that nothing goes unnoticed when it comes to _my_ son," Gemma responded. Tara figured this was coming. She just didn't expect it 5 seconds after walking into the house. Opie defused the situation by distracting Gemma….asking her about the food. Opie was the best wingman. Jax lead Tara to the bathroom, and looked at her sincerely stating, "Tara, I will handle my mother."

"Jax I will let you handle your mother, but I will not allow someone to insult me all the time. Your mother has always aimed subtle digs in my direction….since like the 5th grade…when we really were just friends, and children for that matter…. It's strange…If this is going to work, I will have to assert myself at some point," Tara responded.

"I understand what you are saying. I just don't think this will continue when my Mom sees how happy you make me. She loves me more than anything…she will love you," Jax countered.

Tara's heart sank. She knew she was only 16-years-old, but she also knew how she felt about Jax, and she knew that she would have to outsmart Gemma. Gemma would be her biggest obstacle in her relationship with Jax….Jax was blinded by his mother…. _ Their relationship is not healthy….she manipulates him… _Tara thought. Tara reminded herself that she was strong, assertive, and smart.

Tara grabbed Jax's face and touched her forehead to his, "Okay, Jackson. I will take a backseat and let you handle this. Just know I will have to respond if this continues," asserted Tara.

"Thank you, babe. You're amazing," Jax smiled. Jax kissed Tara lightly on the lips, grabbed her hand and kissed it. He was completely enamored with her.

"Okay, Teller. Take me back to the party," Tara demanded.

_Why does she like me? Why? She is so good and I am so…corrupt…_Jax pondered. _I don't know what I did deserve her, but I cannot screw this up._

_I will not let Gemma see me sweat….I will make it my mission to kill her with my confidence… with my smarts. I will be a strong. _Tara thought. Tara grabbed Jax's hand with purpose, kissed him, and walked toward the living room, leading the way. Jax and Tara sat on the couch, Opie joined them. Opie winked at Tara. She appreciated his diversion with Gemma earlier more than he knew.

SAMCRO members began to funnel into the house. Tara recognized most from around town, but did not know their names. Most brought women with them. The women were dressed, _interestingly_, Tara thought. Jax knew Tara and he could tell that she was slightly uncomfortable around all of the characters that just walked through the door. He knew that she was putting her best face forward. He knew that his life was not 'normal'…._should I really be pulling Tara into this?_ Jax wondered silently.

"Bobby, Chibs…come on over!" Jax yelled. "Guys, this is Tara. A lifelong friend of mine and Opie's. She is the one that discovered me after the accident. I have a feeling you will be seeing more of her around," Jax beamed as he introduced Tara to his two favorite SAMCRO members.

"Hey, Tara.." responded Chibs in a thick, Scottish accent. "Nice to meet ya, girl."

"Hello, Darlin, " Bobby winked.

"What, I don't get an introduction?!," Piney asserted. Tara chuckled. "Hello Mr. Winston," Tara stood up and hugged him. Gemma cringed. _How in the hell does she know Piney? Where the hell have I been?…_Gemma was perplexed. Tara noticed Gemma's frustration, and pocketed the observation. No one asked how they knew each other. Most probably assumed it was through Opie. Jax didn't seem to think it was strange. _What in the hell does everyone know that I don't?, _thought Gemma.

Tara, Jax, Opie, Piney, Chibs, and Bobby all enjoyed a lively conversation in the living room. Much to Jax's surprise, Tara seemed to fit in with the crew. The guys joked around with her, but were respectful.

Otto, Tig, Luanne, and some others funneled in. Jax didn't introduce them to Tara immediately. He thought she had enough for one night. Otto, Tig, and Luanne could each use their own day for an introduction, they were all so eccentric. But they were family. He would introduce her eventually. Clay nodded at Tig, and Tig whistled. The whole room became quiet.

"Family and friends, I want to welcome you all to this beautiful dinner organized by my Old Lady, the beautiful, Gemma," Clay beamed. "Sit back, relax and enjoy. We don't always get nights like these. Separately, I want to say welcome home to my son, Jax. Your mother and I are so glad you are safe." Everyone raised their glasses and cheered. This was exactly what Tara and Gemma were both worried about. Tara was taken aback by the people. She really was enjoying herself. And Gemma was concerned because Tara was enjoying herself. Gemma was even more concerned by her son's response to Tara.

_He really loves her…_Tara thought. About Clay's feelings for Gemma. Tara felt confused by this world. These people did heinous things, from what she has been told, but they were all so connected and passionate about each other…_almost seems like an oxymoron. _Tara sighed. Tara had never felt such a bond when in the presence of a group of people, and suddenly she understood Jax more, and suddenly she envied the love Jax has always felt. In this moment, and in this moment only, Tara even envied the way Gemma looked at Jax. _Gemma may be crazy…but look at this love she has given to Jax. _Tara's feelings about Gemma were all over the place.

The rest of the night went off without a hitch. Gemma respected Jax's request to back off. Gemma still directed passive-aggressive looks in Tara's direction, but Tara would just seem paranoid if she brought this to Jax's attention.

Gemma pulled Piney aside…. "Hey old man…how do you know Tara?"

Piney knew that Gemma was…being Gemma. "Don't worry about it Gem. I know her old man and I grew up with her mother….she was friends with my sister…. Good lady…such a shame," Piney responded.

Gemma sensed that he was hiding something. But she let it go. "Yea, I remember Lori Knowles…remember her and your sister…you and Tara seem real friendly."

"Gem, as I said, I knew her mother. Grew up with her. I've kept an eye on her. Don't read too deep into history Gem….never does anyone good," Piney asserted.

Piney was telling the truth. He just left out the fact that he has financially helped Tara from time to time….and that he has standing lunches once a month with Tara to talk about her mother with her. Tara's father was too big of a mess. Tara had no one to tell her about her mother. So Piney would tell Tara stories about her mother as a child, teenager, and young adult. He felt this was private information between Tara and he. Piney also arranged for his sister to visit Tara a couple of times since her mother's passing to talk to Tara. Tara was grateful to him and Tara made Piney feel like a good guy despite all the bad shit he has seen and done in his life. _Private Information._

Around 12am, everyone began to funnel out of the house.

"Tara, I would like to take you home so you do not have to walk," Jax offered.

"I would like that, Jax, thank you," Tara responded.

"Ma, Clay, can I have the keys to the cage?" Jax yelled.

Gemma and Clay exchanged a look. "Of course Jackson, if you think you can drive," Gemma offered.

"Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Morrow for the invite and the lovely time. You have a beautiful home and family." Tara meant what she said. She and Gemma looked at each other. And there it was again, a nice exchange followed by a sense of tension. Tara just though she should get used to it. Gemma was trying to figure out how to get rid of her…_how to handle her. _

Tara's House

Jax pulled up to Tara's driveway. He noticed that all of the lights were off. "Your Dad is not home…?" It was a half question, half statement. Jax knew Tara long enough to know her father was rarely home. But pulling up to her house tonight, seeing how dark it was, how lonely it felt…Jax felt bad for Tara. He knew she was fine and that she would hate that he pitied her, but no one deserves to be alone 24/7, other than school, since the age of 9.

"Tara, I'm sorry…" Jax whispered. Tara knew what he meant.

"Oh, Jax. No apologies. Today was a great day….Thank you," Tara whispered at she touched her forehead to his. "Jax, why don't you come in for a few minutes."

Jax nodded and followed her into her house. As he walked into the house he could see that Tara maintained everything.… Bills, cleaning, laundry. Tara took care of herself and a household. He once again felt bad. _How did she do all of this? _Jax wondered. He was once again in awe of Tara's strength.

As they walked into her bedroom, Jax grabbed Tara's hand, pulled her close, and hugged her. Tara felt the warmth of Jax's body, but was careful of his arm and was careful not to hug him too tight as she was all too aware of his broken ribs and bruises.

"Tara Knowles, you are amazing. Thank you for spending time with my crazy family. Thank you for putting up with my mother," Jax mumbled. Tara looked at Jax with her big green eyes. She loved being around him.

A wave of heat rushed over both of their bodies. Jax wanted Tara right then and there, but as his body tensed, he was reminded of his injuries. "Shit, Tara."

"What Jax, what's wrong?" Tara said, with fear.

"Tara I want you so bad." Tara ran her hands up and down Jax's back. He shivered and relished in her touch.

"Jax, not now. You are hurt. But please, stay with me for a bit… if you can." Jax nodded yes. Tara lifted his shirt and slowly kissed all of the wounds and bruises on his body.

"Babe you are killing me," Jax said.

"I'm sorry, I just want to make sure you are okay," Tara answered. She let go of Jax. Tara took off her shirt and changed into a camisole. She removed her pants and put on her pajama shorts. Jax watched…looking at Tara's body was the highlight of his day. His desire to be with her, inside her, was at an all time high. Tara turned back to Jax. She could tell that his mind was working overtime. "Jax, shhhh….lay down with me," Tara whispered.

"Okay babe. I can only stay for an hour. I don't want to give my Mom a reason to give you shit anymore than she already is…. At least not yet," he winked.

"I will set an alarm," Tara responded.

Tara set the alarm, locked her door, and lead Jax to her bed. Jax laid down first, Tara wanted him to be comfortable and knew that Jax had a lot working against him. Once he secured himself in a comfortable position, Tara nuzzled her body next to him and placed her head next to his chest. She felt like they fit perfectly together. She felt at peace. For the first time in over 7 years, Tara Knowles felt like she had a home. Jax and Tara laid in silence for most of the hour, looking at each other intensely. When the alarm sounded. Tara got up, turned it off, then gestured to help Jax up. He rose slowly, cringing in pain. "Jax, how can I help you?" Tara asked.

"I am fine babe, I just have to heal, it will take sometime. You have not idea how badly I want to stay…," Jax smiled.

"I think I do," Tara smirked. Tara helped Jax put his shirt back on. She then ran her fingers up his back and through his hair, wrapping her hands around his face, she pulled him in for a kiss. Each kiss they shared that day intensified. "Babe, you have to let me go or I won't leave and things will get out of hand…" Jax pleaded.

Jax and Tara walked outside to his car. "Goodnight baby….when will I see you again? We have a few weeks left of summer and I want to spend time with you."

"Babe that's not a question. Opie and I will pick you up for breakfast in the morning around, 9am." Jax smirked and pulled Tara in for one last kiss. "Sweet dreams, Tara." Tara closed Jax's car door. She leaned in through the drivers-side window and whispered, "Good night Jackson and thank you."

_Just. Like. That. I belong…there is someone who sees me…_Tara was beside herself, but in a good way. She did not think this would all happen so quickly. But, it felt completely natural. Tara knew there was danger in getting involved with Jax, the Teller family and SAMCRO. But the reward…some semblance of a family…seemed worth the risk. Besides, what was her alternative? Continued loneliness? _Whatever this is_….wherever this was headed, Tara felt like she finally belonged. But, she wasn't kidding herself, she knew things were going to get more complicated…_I will have to take it day by day. Gemma is a problem…and Jax and all the girls…sigh…_

Teller-Morrow House

Jax walked into his house, opening the door slowly, hoping to sneak into his room without having to talk to Gemma. But no such luck. There she was….drink and joint in hand on the couch. "Jackson, come on over…" Gemma demanded. She patted the couch right next to her, where she wanted him to sit. He sat slowly, visibly in pain.

"What's up Mom? I mean I know, but do we really have to discuss it? I am happy," Jax expressed firmly.

"Jackson, what have I always told you about girls? Pussy is fine. Love, girlfriends, an old lady, not so much…you have an intense couple of years ahead. Prospecting…earning your place at the table…you cant mess with that Jackson…your father worked so hard so you would have the club…No reason you should be getting twisted up with Tara. I don't hate her Jackson, she is just too much of an outsider to trust. I don't trust her and I don't trust you with her…" Gemma said.

_"_Mom, I get your concern. But, I have known Tara since kindergarten. She has given me no reason to mistrust her. In fact, Tara has always been supportive. After all the shit with Thomas and Dad…she was the only person who understood what I was going through. You are right, I care for her, and that isn't going to change….so let me be…let us be, and be nice to Tara. No more passive-aggressive shit," Jax asserted.

"Yea. Ok Jackson. I will let you do you, but I will keep an eye on it," Gemma responded.

"Thanks, Ma. I am serious. Be nice. Love you, good night," Jax said before walking in his room and heading to bed.

Gemma knew this was a problem. _Tara is not going to be able to handle SAMCRO. Jax will start prospecting after his 17th birthday..couple of months from now….probably drop out of high school….one of them is going to get hurt, and I do not want Jackson to be the one left heartbroken. He is too much of a thinker…too much like his god-damn father. I handled that problem. How and I going to handle this one?…_


	3. Chapter 3

Hello All! Sorry about the lag in update. I have had a lot going on. Thank you for all who have reviewed. I am not a writer by any means...so this is all new to me. I am having fun with it! Hope you all continue to enjoy :) Review are appreciated!

Three weeks had passed since the SAMCRO family dinner party. Tara and Jax had grown closer…a lot closer. They hadn't slept together yet, but they kept each other satisfied. They had spent every waking minute together. It drove Jax crazy when he was not with her. Tara was equally obsessed. That had to be with each other or know what was going on with each other every minute…literally.

Opie began dating Donna a little bit before Jax and Tara got together. Jax, Tara, Opie and Donna spent a lot of time together. Tara and Donna got along pretty well. They probably weren't going to be best friends…because they both had difficulty letting people in, but they definitely got along, which was a good thing.

Gemma did not like either of the boys dating so seriously…so exclusively… Gemma was all about the club. She was never concerned about the boys knocking-up a crow eater. _Those bitches knew they would abort the pregnancy. Knew their place. But Tara & Donna…shit. Who knows._

It was the Friday evening of Labor Day Weekend and SAMCRO was holding their annual weekend-long party. Jax described it as a 'complete shit-show' to Tara & Donna. "Babe, I am warning you now, it is NOT going to be calm. Lots of crow eaters, sex, booze, fighting and outta-control shit…right in your face all weekend…if you don't want to come, I understand," Jax expressed.

"Jax…I want to come. I want to be there… with you," Tara countered.

"I will keep her in line," Donna yelled out.

"Yea I would like to see that," Opie laughed.

Somewhere in his head, Jax felt a sense of uneasiness about having Tara at the party…He knew the shit that went down at these parties, and he was afraid that Tara would go running for the hills…running away from him. Literally. But what was he supposed to do? He couldn't keep her separate from everything. And Jax knew SAMCRO was his future. Jax was proud of who he was. He wouldn't want it any other way. It was his father's legacy. His duty. Tara would have to get used to it at some point. But that didn't change that one of the things that drew Jax to Tara was that she gave him a certain amount of hope….He didn't want to risk tainting that.

Jax, Tara, Opie, and Donna were sitting on a picnic table outside of the clubhouse. There was a loud roar of motorcycles. Jax took note of who was riding into the compound. _Tacoma Charter._

"Babe, all the guys pulling in now are from the Tacoma Charter of the Sons. They are an interesting group…some really good guys..known them since I was a young kid."

Tara was mesmerized. So many bikes pulling in. _Where were all of the bikes going to fit?…look at the women….This is overwhelming._ Tara felt completely out of place looking around at all the guys. But then she looked at Jax, Opie, and Donna, and felt like she belonged. _I can get used to this…_

Other charters pulled into the compound, one after the other, for the next couple of hours. Around 11pm, most had arrived. There had to have been over 500 people. Maybe more.

Like at the dinner party, the crowd was silenced, and Clay made a long speech about the Son's, tradition, family, and the weekend ahead. "… and, as usual, there will be business mixed with pleasure," Clay said to the masses. There were cheers, drinks and yelling and the party had 'officially' begun.

Tara and Donna separated from Jax and Opie to go get a drink. When they arrived at the bar, suddenly an unfamiliar voice…not that there was much familiarity about their surroundings….came up behind them.

"Ladies! Looking good…and a little young. What are you two doing here? Doesn't quite look like your scene," yelled out some guy with a Rogue River patch. _He looks drunk and about 35-years-old, _Tara thought. Tara smirked, in an uncomfortable kinda way, and turned back around to the bar. Donna followed suit. Neither really knew what to say.

Tara felt a push, and suddenly the guy was leaning against the bar in between Tara and Donna. He looked back and forth at both of them, "What, you don't have an answer?" Tara was irritated. So was Donna. While they were both kind of uncomfortable, neither one of them lacked assertiveness or feistiness.

"Oh I'm sorry," Tara blurted out sarcastically. "You see, my friend and I here are narcs…undercover. Don't tell anyone… Rogue River, huh? That's a ways away." Tara smirked. She decided she would just laugh and move on with her night. _Play nice_..she thought to herself.

"You are a sassy one," the man responded. "You better be careful with that kind of energy around here."

"Ron!," Tara heard a familiar voice yell. "I see you have met Donna and Tara…friends of Op and Jax," Gemma said.

"Ahh…I should have known. Leave it to Jax and Op to bring girls here that look out of place…silly kids," Ron responded. A huge smirk came across Gemma's face.

_What an insult.._Tara thought…_thank god we don't look like we fit in around here. The women look gross and most have no business wearing the clothing that they are…_

"Oh thanks _Ron_…welcoming to Charming…enjoy!_" _Tara responded sarcastically with a big smile on her face. Tara was not going to let Ron get under her skin, and she was certainly not going to allow Gemma to see her squirm.

"Tara and I will be sure to tell Jax and Op that you send your best," Donna yelled back. The girls walked away with several drinks. Heading back to Jax and Op.

"What took you two so long?," Jax asked. "Some guy, Ron from Rogue River, was kinda busting on us…said we didn't look like we belong here. I told him we were narcs. Of course your mother had to get involved. But it's fine. He was harmless. Drunk, I think," Tara answered.

"Well aren't you funny. …Yea, Ron, he knew my Dad from the military. He is harmless. Likely drunk…And Gemma, she just knows everyone," Jax chuckled.

"Of course she does…Have a feeling she will be reminding me of that all weekend," Tara thought.

"Me too," Donna interjected. "It was weird. I think Gemma dislikes both of us."

"Donna, please don't go there," Opie whispered quietly.

Tara let out a laugh.

"Donna…my mother is harmless…really. I mean it. She is my mother. She loves Op and I. She just gives people outside of the club a hard time….but it's harmless," Jax asserted.

_Outsiders_…Tara thought…more like other women. _God forbid all male attention wasn't focused fully and solely on her….including her son's…which is weird…_

"Sounds like you are trying to convince yourself of that..she is really bitchy Jax…especially to Tara…you just choose not to see it!" Donna fired back.

Tara was about to let out a loud chuckle…_Thank you Donna!_, Tara thought. But she held back her laugh…Tara just wanted to have a good time with Jax.

"And with that, Tara and I are going for a walk." Jax responded, visibly annoyed. His mother was his mother. Sure she could be difficult, but she was a loving person. Jax didn't take kindly to people bashing his mother. Just like he doesn't take kindly to someone speaking poorly about Tara or SAMCRO. Jax grabbed Tara's hand and pulled her. Tara turned to Donna, thanking her without even saying anything. Donna winked at Tara.

Tara could sense the tension and was concerned, because she knew this was going to be a trigger for arguments and disagreements between her and Jax. He did not see his mother through anyones eyes but his own, and he didn't want to. Tara wasn't looking to ruin Jax's relationship with Gemma, it would just be nice if he acknowledged the reality of the situation. Tara learned that she couldn't be honest with Jax about his mother.

Jax lead Tara to a somewhat private spot behind the auto shop.

"Sorry, babe. I can't sit there while someone is bashing my mom. I wouldn't allow someone to talk that way about you, including my mother. Please know that…" Jax said. Tara looked into his eyes and nodded.

"Jax, I just want to have a good time tonight. If we talk about this, we aren't going to have a good time, so lets save it for another day…I am sure this will come up again," Tara pleaded.

Jax sensed Tara was avoiding. He hated that. He wanted her to tell him. Tara wanted to tell Jax. Their communication was a problem. They were so connected, but so concerned about protecting each others feelings, that they were keeping secrets and were not honest.

Jax and Tara smiled at each other hesitantly, and pulled each other in for a kiss. Things escalated quickly and Jax had his hand up Tara's shirt, underneath her bra. Tara moaned.

"Jax…let's go…somewhere private…," Tara whispered. _We can't do this here, _Tara thought. _Way too many people…_

"Follow me," Jax said.

Jax began to lead Tara through the clubhouse toward the apartments, by the hand, she trailed behind him…They could barely get through the front door when two women stopped Jax. They didn't see Tara standing directly behind him, holding his hand.

"Hey Prince of Charming, you looking to hang out tonight," the one girl asked. She rubbed her hand down his back….which was suddenly right in Tara's face. Jax was still holding onto Tara's hand. Tara was taken aback by the girl…or woman rather…_was she serious?!_

Just as Jax was about to respond, Tara moved forward and made her presence known. She gave the woman and her sidekick a disgusted look.

"Ladies…there are plenty of other guys. Have fun. I am taken tonight," Jax smirked.

"He is taken…_every night_…back off," Tara asserted. Despite being new to this world, Tara was not new to small town folk and she was not intimidated by other people…let alone people she felt were inferior. Jax loved her possessiveness. He knew he was equally possessive.

The one woman got into her face. She was quite a bit taller than Tara, so suddenly all Tara saw was silicon cleavage. The woman was gross. Smelled like sweat, booze, smoke, and some disgusting perfume. Was barely wearing any clothing. Looked like a porn star…or hooker.

"Lady…get out of my face!" Tara yelled.

The woman was about to push Tara. Luckily, Jax was able to get in the middle before she laid a hand on Tara.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Tara yelled as she threw her body towards the woman to try to retaliate. Again, Jax intercepted her.

Gemma heard the commotion. When she realized what was going on, she was pleased. She was pleased because Tara was visibly upset and she was pleased because she finally became privy to a weakness of Tara's. _Jealously. Tara is going to have a tough time…part of this life is accepting that your man will cheat on you and get his dick sucked by crow eaters from time to time. Tara could not handle it…_Gemma thought_. _Gemma was so pleased…_I don't even have to do anything to break them up. My son will cheat on her. It's in his nature…it's part of the life. Only a matter of time._

Jax wrapped his arms around Tara before she could do anything and pulled her through the main room, down the hallway, where they had more privacy. Tara was absolutely livid.

"I'm going home Jax!…Let me go!"

"Tara let's just go upstairs to the apartment. We can be alone. Talk about this."

"If you think we are doing anything after that you are delusional _Jackson Teller_!"

"Tara, I didn't do anything. She grabbed me. I stopped her. Come on, babe," Jax pleaded.

"I know Jax. But, she almost attacked me! She was disgusting. She was old. Who the hell picks fights with 16-year-olds?! I can defend myself. And…what made her think she had a chance with you?…I don't want to know…I don't want to know….never mind! I don't wanna be the girl who is mad at you for your past. I just got a whole eyeful of it though…right in my face…I just don't know how to process it. I just…I feel like I am going to be sick." Tara slid down the wall and fell to the floor. A wave of heat rushed over her…a mix of adrenaline and beer.

Jax could sense Tara was on the verge of tears. She was shaking and was flushed. He didn't want anyone to think she was weak, because she wasn't. So, he picked her up, walked up the stairs and into the apartment room. He locked the door. Jax was at a loss. He didn't know what to say. He was afraid this would happen. But this was his life.

"Tara..I don't know…"

"Jax. Don't."

"Don't what Tara? You are obviously upset. We can't avoid this."

"Jax, I am not cut out for this."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know!..I want you, not all this shit that comes along with it."

"Tara. This is my life. I can't change it…I don't want to. I need you to trust me if this is going to work."

"Trust..is hard for me Jackson. I trust you more than I have anyone in my life…but I still have trouble with it."

"Tara, I love you. You know that. I don't want to be with anyone else. Women here from time to time are going to flirt with me, touch me, maybe even try something. But, I am not going to let them. Some of the women though, I have known for a long time. I am not just going to ignore them. You have the be secure with what we have."

Jax pulled Tara closer. He kissed her. She didn't stop him.

"Jackson, I am going to try my best."

Jax wiped the tears from Tara's cheeks.

"Babe, that's all I am asking." Jax felt a lot of pressure. He couldn't imagine slowing things down with Tara, but he was all too aware of the fact that Tara put a lot of trust into him and he was worried about disappointing her.

There was a knock at the door. "Jax…it's Op. Can Donna and I come in?…..we need a room with some privacy."

When Donna and Opie walked in, Donna had a huge welt on her face.

"What the hell happened?" Jax asked. _Shit..I just calmed Tara down. Who hit Donna? Tara is going to lose it again._

Donna looked up, tears flowing down her face… "I want to talk to Tara….alone," Donna demanded.

"Uh ok," Tara said, gesturing to Jax and Op that they should leave the room.

Jax and Opie were hesitant to leave. Jax especially after what had happened with Tara. _This better not stir shit up again,_ Jax thought. The guys walked out of the room and closed the door.

"Dude, what the fuck happened?" Jax asked.

"Bro Donna got into it with Luanne's niece," Opie answered.

"Sharleen?" Jax asked…. Sharleen and Opie used to hook up. Opie and Sharleen were each others first. And it continued on and off for about a year. Jax knew that Opie didn't feel about Sharleen the way she wanted him to. She was dramatic, crazy, and unpredictable…She was Luanne's niece.

"Yea…Donna went to the bathroom, came back and saw Sharleen trying to get something to happen between her and I. Donna made herself known to Sharleen, and I introduced Donna as my girlfriend. Donna and I began to walk away from Sharleen when she jumped on Donna's back, knocking her down to the floor. One thing lead to another. Donna has a nice shiner on her face and, well, Sharleen got the shit beat out of her. Gem and Luanne and tending to Sharleen's wounds…and they are pissed. I don't know what to do bro, I think we are going to have a problem. We gotta get Donna and Tara out of here. Luanne and her porn bitches are out for blood and I know Tara had nothing to do with it, but people are going to pair her and Donna together because they are _new_."

"Shit," Jax mumbled. He and Op stayed in the hallway outside the room, waiting for the girls to finish.

Meanwhile, Donna was sitting on the edge of the bed, with her face in her hands. Tears pouring out uncontrollably.

"Donna, what happened? Let me look at your face. You need an ice-pack or something," Tara stated quietly. Tara gently grabbed Donna's hands off of her face. "Donna, please look at me, what happened? Who did this to you?"

"Some chick. I didn't even get her name. I went to the bathroom, came out, saw her draped all over Opie. Opie was trying to stop her…backing away from her. Then Opie and I began to walk away and she jumped me….knocked me to the floor. Tara…I, I whited-out…I beat the shit out of her! When I came to, Opie was pulling me away, I got a quick look at her face and it was all bloody," Donna told Tara slowly. "Tara, I think I love Opie, but what am I going to do? I can't live like this. Now everyone out there is going to hate me."

"Donna, look at me. She attacked you. Screw that bitch!," Tara responded. Tara wanted to tell Donna that the same thing almost happened to her, but she didn't want to compare. "I would have done the same thing Donna."

"Tara, we need to watch out for each other. I need to know that you aren't going any where. That you are in it with Jax, like I am with Opie. They are blinded by so many things. Loyal to a fault. I need to know that there is someone around me that gets it," Donna pleaded.

"Absolutely Donna. I have your back 100%….stupid crow eaters," Tara huffed. Tara pulled Donna up and walked her into the bathroom. She wet a cold wash cloth and helped Donna clean off her face.

"Thank you, Tara….I have never really had a true friend before, well other than Op…thank you," Donna mumbled.

Tara smirked, saying, "Donna we are only going to make it if we have each other." And, just like that, something changed in Tara. In that moment, she decided that this was her life…she was going to own it and, she was not going to backdown to anyone, including Gemma.

Jax quietly knocked on the door. "Girls…," he whispered.

"You can come in!," Tara yelled out.

When Jax and Opie walked in, they saw Tara cleaning off Donna's face. Jax's heart sank… he felt pride and he felt badly, all at the same time. _There is Tara, always taking care of shit. _

"Op and I think we should get you two out of here. Too much going on. Too many emotions and booze floating around…We can go back to Opie's," Jax asserted.

Tara and Donna looked at each other. Donna looked at Opie. Tara and Jax made eye contact.

"Ok. For now. But we are coming back tomorrow. We aren't going to run away and let these bitches think they can push us around," Tara expressed.

Jax was turned on. He loved feisty Tara. "I get it babe, really I do, but Donna really beat the shit out of Sharleen, so I think the message has been sent. Tonight we will leave and we will have to figure out what we are going to do the rest of the weekend. Opie and I are just trying to figure out how to get out of here without being seen. I'm sorry Tara, Donna. We did not think tonight would be like this," Jax said.

Jax grabbed Tara's hand, and Opie grabbed Donna's. They walked through a hallway where no one was, to a side exit. They snuck out towards the street and quietly walked away without anyone noticing…


	4. Chapter 4

Surprise! A double update. Happy Thanksgiving! :) :) Let me know what you think!

When the four friends arrived at the Winston House, they were all quiet. It had been an exhausting couple of hours for all of them. Tara immediately went into the kitchen and retrieved ice for Donna's face. _Total mom-mode_, Jax thought. But he liked it. He loved Tara's maternal, nurturing side. Tara gave the ice to Donna. The girls hugged and slowly Opie and Donna made their way back to Opie's bedroom. "Good night you two," Jax yelled out.

Jax grabbed Tara, pulled her close and let out a big sigh of relief. He was happy to be alone with Tara after the craziness of the night. From what Donna said about his mother, to Tara and the crow eater, to Donna and Sharleen…it was too much. Girls getting into fights at a club party over him and Op, or any guys, was nothing new, the difference this time was that the fighting involved two girls that he and Opie cared about deeply.

Jax touched his forehead to Tara's. "I'm sorry babe…I don't know what else to say."

"Thank you. Let's just move forward. I don't want to dwell on this. I do want you to know though that what happened with Donna, that could have been me. I can't promise it won't be in the future. I would never just let someone attack me and not fight back." Jax nodded at Tara. He understood.

"Do you want to spend the night here? Or do you want me to take you home? I know it's late," Jax asked.

"Take me home Jax. My Dad went away for the weekend. You can spend the night with me there." Tara pulled Jax in for a kiss. Luckily, Opie and Piney had extra bikes at their house. Tara only lived a few blocks away, but Jax wanted to get there quickly. Jax jumped on the bike, passed the helmet to Tara and she got on behind him. Riding together was therapeutic for them. Their bodies intertwined, the breeze blowing…. Tara knew that she wanted to be with Jax. She decided that tonight would be the night…

At Tara's house, she lead Jax to her bedroom and locked the door. They looked at each other intensely. "We don't have to do anything," Jax whispered. Tara just looked at him with love in her eyes and pulled him in for a kiss. The kiss lasted for a few minutes and Tara then pulled away. She just looked at Jax. "I am going to undress you," Jax said quietly. Tara did not protest. He unbuttoned her shirt, one by one. Never breaking eye contact. He then unbuttoned her pants and helped Tara as she stepped out of them. There she stood, in her bra and underwear. "Tara you are beautiful….absolutely perfect," Jax whispered.

Tara stood there innocently. Jax took a step back and started to unbutton his shirt, one by one. He then took his pants off. Again, never losing eye contact. They were so connected. He pulled her in and hugged her tightly. He felt the warmth of her body against his. He was so content. He had never felt a connection to another human being like he did with Tara.

Tara and Jax fell to the bed. They were completely engrossed in one another. After a few minutes they were both completely naked. Jax's hands were exploring all over Tara's body. Tara's hand were all over Jax's body. Jax could feel how warm and wet Tara was. _God I want her…need her, _Jax thought. Before he could say anything he heard, "Jax, make love to me…"

"Tara are you sure?" Jax did not want to pressure Tara. He did not care if he had to wait. Being with Tara the way he was, was already so much better than any other sexual encounter he has had with a female.

Tara grabbed Jax abruptly by the jaw, turning his face to her's, and looked intently into his eyes, "Yes, Jackson. Being with you is the only think that makes sense to me….Love me," Tara demanded.

Jax reached out to his jeans, in the pocket to remove a condom. He opened the wrapper and positioned himself on one arm, hovering over Tara, while he used his other hand to slide the condom on. Jax entered Tara slowly. She was perfect. So tight, so warm. Jax didn't know how long he would last, he was overwhelmed… he was so worried about being good for Tara, and not hurting her…He rocked slowly…Tara ran her hands up and down Jax's back. Max changed rhythms and could feel Tara's muscles tightening around his cock. He moved him hand down to her center and began massaging her clit as he continued to rock his body back and forth. Tara wrapped her legs around his back, matching him, thrust for thrust.

"Oh Jax…oh my…," And, abruptly, Tara switched positions, moving herself on top of Jax. She continued to ride him, taking charge.

Jax was happy, but confused. _I thought Tara was a virgin. She can't be…she is driving me crazy….she is experienced. Fuck…_ Jax was angry and pleasantly surprised all in the same moment. Angry because the thought of Tara with anyone else drove him absolutely nuts…_She is mine…_Pleasantly surprised because holy shit this situation was just getting hotter and hotter.

"Jesus, Tara," Jax moaned.

"Oh, Jax…Jax…," Tara responded. Jax moved his hands to Tara's ass and he squeezed her soft cheeks. Tara positioned herself more upright, continuing to move her body up and down over his cock. She felt him harden and knew he was going to cum. Jax then took control, flipping Tara over so he was again on top. He moved his hand back to to Tara's clit. He wanted them to come together…

Jax and Tara looked deep into each others eyes as they shared a moment of complete ecstasy. Jax collapsed onto Tara. He lifted himself out of her body, but did not get off of her. He kissed her deeply. "Jesus, Tara, that was amazing, unexpected…" Jax said, trying to catch his breath.

"Jax, that was wow. Thank you," Tara responded.

Jax didn't know what to say. He wanted to ask Tara about her past. But then she could ask about his and he really didn't want her to know about how many women he has slept with…and how old some of them were. Tara could sense he had something on his mind.

"What, Teller? Did you think it was my first time? Sorry to disappoint." Tara smirked.

"Tara, I did. But I guess you never told me…I never asked…I just assumed. But there was nothing disappointing about what we just did…that was the best. Better than I imagined…I just don't like to think about you with someone else, so I am not going to ask any other questions…If it's someone I know, I may beat the shit out of him the next time I see him. You are mine…" Jax smiled back. _Fucking shit…how long am I really going to last without asking her who he was…or looking into it myself…when it happened…_Jax thought as he pushed his desire to know far, far into the back of his mind.

"Well Teller, just look at the positive. I am ready for round 2," Tara smirked.

Tara grabbed Jax, he stiffened and she made her way down to his cock….

The next morning, Jax woke up around 11am. He and Tara didn't actually fall asleep until about 7am. They had amazing sexual chemistry. Better than either imagined….Jax reached for Tara. He wanted to pull her tight, but she was not there. Jax sat up and wiped the morning off of his eyes. Looked around. It had been years since he was in Tara's bedroom in daylight. He smelled something coming from the kitchen….it brought a smile to his face.

Jax pulled on his boxers and jeans, and made his way to the kitchen. He stood in the doorway for a moment, just looking. There she was. Looking more beautiful than ever. The sun was shining on her through the windows…Her hair pulled back, she was wearing a tight camisole and tight short, shorts. God her ass was perfect. Her skin was perfect. She was gorgeous in the most simplest of ways.

Jax snuck up quietly behind Tara, wrapping his arms around her stomach and breathing into her ear he whispered, "Tara Knowles, you are gorgeous." Tara smiled to herself. She turned around and put her arms up and around Jax's shoulders. Jax leaned his head down to her and she whispered, "Not so bad yourself, Jackson….now don't get any ideas. I want to make you breakfast."

Jax sat down at the table, "Yes Ma'am," he said as he continued to watch Tara in absolute awe. She navigated the kitchen as good as his mother did. Watching her, Jax's head jumped forward 10 to 15 years from now…he could imagine them together, with their kids at the kitchen table. He shook his head, and laughed to himself. _I've got it bad…_

_"_Here you go Jax…enjoy," Tara offered. "So tell me, what is the plan for the rest of the weekend. I know that Donna wants to go back to TM and the clubhouse for the party. I do too. I don't want to hide Jax."

"I know babe and I respect that. I will call Op in a bit and we will figure it out. Personally, I could stay right here with you all weekend…your full of surprises Tara, I would like to learn more," Jax winked.

"Teller…watch it," Tara smirked. Tara turned away and walked to the sink with her dish…_Shit…I was afraid this would happen…but was I supposed to avoid Jax forever because I have a past? Was I supposed to pretend like it was my first time? I couldn't… I don't want to tell Jax who I lost my virginity to…who I was sleeping with for 5 months. It ended 4 months ago, and god knows he has a history and no right to be angry, but I know it will anger him…_

_"_Babe, what's going on in that head of yours?," Jax asked as he walked toward the sink.

"Just thinking about how I am going to handle all the fun at the clubhouse today," Tara said hesitantly….Well not really, it was a half truth..she had that on her mind too. _I am going to have to tell Jax…before he hears it from someone else…_

Jax could sense something else was up…"Babe…let's get ready. Shower?," Jax said. He grabbed Tara and lead her to the bathroom. "Tara, whatever is on your mind, let it go. I don't care about your past. As long as it stays there. As long as you are mine, I am good," Jax said. _Well that's kind of a lie…_Jax thought…

"Okay, baby," Tara sighed. _Maybe I am being silly. But it's someone associated with people he hates…_

_Shit, can it really be that bad? _Jax thought. _I don't like that she has been with anyone, but what can I do. We are together now…_

Tara and Jax entered the shower together, enjoying another escape from reality…


	5. Chapter 5

I am sorry updates haven't been as frequent. But I promise, I have the bone structure for several chapters to come. So I will be continuing! Thank you to those who have reviewed and continue to support my writing. I am humbled! Please continue to review and let me know what you think!

Additionally, on the Eve of the SOA series finale, I would be remiss not to thank Kurt Sutter for sharing his vision with us. Kurt - you are an amazing writer and I look forward to following your next series. Thank you to all of the SOA actors! Extra special thanks to Charlie and Maggie for bringing Jax and Tara to life as no one else could have. It's been a rough season for Jax and Tara fans, but I am hopeful that Thomas and Abel will end up away from the life, which is the ultimate way to honor Tara. Thank you SOA for memories!

"Babe!," Jax yelled out.

"Yes?," Tara smirked as she suddenly appeared in from of Jax…._I love him…I really do. This morning was perfect…He is my person. In every way. Holy shit. I love Jax. _

"What is going on in that head of yours?," Jax asked, "…I'll be back to pick you up in an hour. I am going to go talk to my mother with Opie. We have been summoned…We are going to figure this out Tara." _God she is beautiful._

"Ok…see you soon…," _just breath Tara, you can say it…,_ "and Jax…." Tara grabbed Jax before he left, pulling him in for a kiss, "I love you too…," she shared.

Jax smiled, and bit his bottom lip, while nodding at Tara. He felt an immediate and warm rush over his body. _How did I get so lucky, _Jax thought…_Fuck, I wish I didn't have to go, but this is for Tara…_"Love you…see you soon babe," Jax replied.

_Gemma's House_

Jax and Opie pulled up to Gemma's house at the same time.

"Morning bro," Jax said… "You look like shit."

"Thanks, jackass. Didn't sleep well last night. Donna was and is so upset. Tried to calm her down, let her know that fights happen all the time at the club house…she is worried about what the other women are going to do to her…Dude, what do you think your mom wants?," Opie asked in a concerned voice.

"I don't know. Probably wants to lecture us. I know she doesn't like how much we care for Donna and Tara…thinks we are too serious and that it will interfere when we start prospecting. It's my mom. You know how she is…," Jax retorted.

"Yes I do, and that is what concerns me," Opie responded.

"My boys! Get your asses in here," Clay yelled out.

As Jax and Opie walked into the room, they were surprised because there was a full table of SAMCRO brothers sitting at Gemma's table, with Gemma no where to be found.

"Where's Ma?," Jax wondered.

"Sit down Jackie-boy, Op," Chibs yelled out.

All of the guys were drinking. Hell it was a holiday weekend. _Not so strange…_Jax thought. But Jax did see something unexpected. Two leather kuttes with the word prospect on each.

"We had a vote this morning. Since it is a holiday weekend, we decided to extend you both the chance to begin prospecting earlier than anticipated. Both of your fathers…," Clay nodded at Piney, "…Were founding member of the Son's…because of that, we are going to make a special exception. Jax, Op, we want you to join us on a run this afternoon. And, starting Tuesday morning, after all of the party dust settles, we would like for you both to begin as full-time prospects," Clay announced.

"Jackie-boy, I will sponsor you lad," Chibs said.

"Son, I will sponsor you," Piney beamed, nodding toward Opie.

Jax and Op looked at each other…this is what they wanted for so long..why did they both sense hesitancy in each other? Well whatever it was, it only lasted for less than one second. They both knew this was their destiny…what they have wanted since they were little…They were both pumped to get started.

Opie looked to Jax, "I think I speak for Jax and I both when I say, absolutely, and where is the run to?," Ope said.

There was a loud cheer and pounding on the table from all of the guys.

Gemma was in her bedroom getting ready for her day when she heard the cheers. A wave of satisfaction poured over her body. _Thank god I convinced Clay and the guys to start Jax and Op early. Have to limit the time they are spending with Tara and Donna. Especially after last night. I still can't believe they left with those little bitches. Jax and Op will drop out within the first two weeks of school….even less time with those pretentious bitches…._Gemma thought to herself…_I have to give those girls some credit though, who knew they would actually be able to stand up for themselves. This should make for some entertainment the next few months…_

Jax and Op celebrated with all of the guys. They were excited to hear the details…or at least as much as they were told as prospects…about the run. Bobby pulled out a map and spread it across the table. Jax and Op would be driving a van…following the guys as they prepared to pass off the guns to a brother club, Indian Hills, Devil's Tribe. Jax knew of the club because of the President, Jury, his father's longtime friend.

Jax and Op both felt a wave of adrenaline as they slowly became privy to club business that they were usually kept in the dark about. Jax felt elated. Opie felt satisfied. After an hour of planning, the guys started to pack up outside of Clay and Gemma's house. Jax and Op were securing some things in the kitchen when Gemma made her way in.

"I heard the good news boys, congratulations!," Gemma beamed.

_Shit…_Jax thought…_We never talked to my mom about Tara and Donna and now we are going to be busy until midnight. Shit. _

"Yea…it's great. Op and I are happy. Thanks, Ma," Jax responded.

Gemma hugged and kissed Jax and Opie. It was like a kiss of approval….One only the matriarch could give. Almost seemed like a right of passage in the whole prospecting process.

"Ma, I am going to ask you to give a message to Tara, and you can ask Tara to pass it along to Donna. I am trusting you to do this. So please don't play games," Jax begged.

"Sure, baby….anything for _my _boys," Gem said.

"Promise, Ma?," Op asked.

"Sure thing, baby," Gem responded.

_Tara's house_

Tara heard her phone ring and picked it up, "Babe it's me…I can't talk right now to explain, but everything is fine. My mom is going to stop by your house to bring you a message. Please pass it along to Donna. Op and I will see you both later tonight..Love you," Jax whispered in a rushed voice.

"Jax—," Tara responded..and all she heard was a dial tone.

_What the fuck was that? Just a few hours ago, Jax was worried about me seeing anyone, sneaking me out of the clubhouse and now Gemma was coming to relay a message to me? Something is not right…._Tara thought as she paced back and forth in her kitchen…_What in the hell is Gemma up to?_

Tara quickly called Donna, explained as much as she could. Donna promised she would be to Tara's in 20 minutes.

…About an hour had passed since Jax's bizarre phone call. Tara and Donna were sitting in Tara's living room, trying to ponder every scenario. Tara had a bad feeling in her stomach.

And there was the knock at the door that Tara and Donna had been waiting for.

"Good afternoon girls!," Gemma said with all smiles and with a pizza in hand. Tara and Donna were immediately skeptical.

"Hi…Gemma…," Tara said. "Come on in…"

"So girls. The boys asked me to stop by…Donna I wasn't expecting you to be here…_nice shiner_. You will be glad to know Sharleen was released from the hospital this morning….her face had to be stitched up in a couple of spots…plastic surgeon…I know all her friends CAN'T wait to see you tonight…you too Tara," Gemma said threateningly, "…But anyways, the boys wanted me to let you know that they officially became prospects for the club this morning. They are off doing whatever it is they do…assisting in club matters. They will not be back until midnight. So you can come to the club house earlier and face the music on your own or you can wait for your body guards to get back to accompany you…" Gemma said.

"I find it hard to believe that Jax and Opie told you to give us that message, just like that, Gemma," Tara fumed. "We are not afraid of anyone and we are not going to hide behind Jax and Opie."

"Well aren't you clever…," Gemma responded.

"Call it whatever you want Gemma," Tara retorted. "We will see you later."

Tara closed the front door behind Gemma after she walked out. Tara was fuming. She was angry with Jax and Opie for leaving her and Donna in this situation.

"Tara," Donna said… "What do you think we should do?..I don't want to hide, but I would never go to one of those parties if it weren't for Op being there. So why would I go to hang out there earlier? …especially with those girls waiting for us? And what if they don't get back by midnight?"

"I don't know Donna. I really don't…maybe we should go somewhere else all together for the weekend. Take a bus somewhere south and get the hell out of here?," Tara suggested.

"I'm game!" Donna said. "Where should we go?"

"Hmmm…I have some cousins in San Diego….but thats really too far for a two-day get away."

"What about Reno, Nevada?!" Donna screamed. "I have some family there. I will call them. They will totally let us stay. The last time I went, I was able to gamble and all at this one Casino that doesn't check IDs. It was so much fun… They have a pool. It will be awesome."

"Sold," Tara said without hesitation. _Jackson Teller, two can play at this game_…Tara thought. _You want to run off without being able to better explain yourself to me, I can run off without explaining myself to you. _Tara was so deep in her thoughts about Jax, the club, her life, the weekend, and Gemma that she barely heard Donna when she hung up the phone.

"Tara, Tara! My Aunt expects us in a couple of hours. Let's pack and get out of here!"

A bit later in the day, Tara and Donna boarded the bus. They both felt a little badly that they were ditching town when Jax and Op expected them to be there and also because there was no way to get in touch with them. Tara and Donna weren't going to relay information through Gemma. So they concluded that the boys would have to figure it out and get over it. They would be back on Tuesday. School started Thursday…

Meanwhile, Jax and Op were in the club's black Econo Van, following the relay of motor cycles. The bikes carried the hardware. The van had the distraction written on it,…. '_Children's Blood Drive,' _it read.

"Op what do you think Tara and Donna are going to do? Do you think they will be ok? I wonder what they are doing now?," Jax asked his best friend.

"Bro relax. I don't know what they are going to do or what they are doing. We will find out later…," Opie responded. Opie, for the most part, was a much calmer guy than Jax. This was a good and a bad thing. _Jesus Christ_, Jax thought…_your girl just beat the shit out of Sharleen. And she may be going back to the clubhouse without your supervision…how are you not nervous?_ Jax suddenly thought that they made a mistake. _Should have told the girls to just wait for us.… _

"Ok…if you say so. Maybe I should call Ma and tell her to tell the girls to wait for us?, " Jax asked.

"I think we should let them make their own decision. Even if it ends up being the wrong one. Things are changing for us. We are going to start earning with the club. I don't plan on telling Donna about what we do in the club, so she can make her own choices…" Jax understood what Op was saying. He was just worried about Donna and Tara's physical safety going back to the clubhouse without them.

"Pull over bro!..looks like we are stopping for gas," Op said to Jax.

"Gotta make a phone call to your mother…" Clay said as he headed over to the pay phone. "Indian Hills is only 20 minutes away. The relay will be meeting us soon at the park 15 minutes up the road…".

Clay approached the pay phone and dialed Gemma immediately, "Clay…baby…I need you to do me a favor," Gemma said frantically, "Stay out there with Jackson and Ope tonight. Go to Reno…have a party. Keep them away from the clubhouse. Their girls need to learn a thing or two after last night and they won't if the boys come back. Besides she is twisting Jax up. We can't have that shit. It's bad for us…".

"Anything for my queen," Clay agreed.

The relay made it's way to a nearby park. _Somewhere between Indian Hills and Reno_, Jax thought. After the guns were given to Indian Hills, Devil's Tribe, Jax exchanged a few words with Jury… "Your father would be proud of you son. Keep your head on straight. Keep to your fathers vision of the club…" Jury said sincerely. _What does he mean, my father's vision…_Jax thought.

Clay then stood up in front of both MC's. "I have an announcement. Change of plans for the evening. We are staying in Reno for the night. Celebrating Jax and Opie! Let's head to the Reno Charter Club House now. Guys told me it's ok to use while they are over at our clubhouse. They assured me some crow eaters would be there to great us properly…Indian Hills, you are welcome to join us."

Jax and Op looked at each other. They were the lowest of the low in terms of pecking order…and the party was being thrown in their honor. They couldn't leave. _Shit…the girls_. Jax and Ope both felt terrible, but they were prospects, and were now at the mercy of the club. They hopped into the van and drove off following the motorcycles into Reno.

As soon as Jax and Op got there, women were hanging on them…But the women were the furtherest thing from their minds…they were both eager to find a phone. Jax got to one first…called Tara…no answer. Called his mom…no answer. Opie tried to call Donna…no answer.._This is bad…._Jax thought. Jax was stressin' about not being able to get in touch with Tara…

About an hour later, Jax and Opie were still unable to get in touch with Tara, Donna, or Gemma. At the party, the crow eaters were relentless…. wouldn't ease up at all. Jax felt vulnerable not being able to get in touch with Tara….and on top of that…the guys were making fun of them… "Pussy-whipped at 16…Go get your dicks sucked…," Tig said. Jax and Opie both looked at each other, feeling bad, but thinking, _what happens on a run, stays on a run_…It was more like they would agree to let the crow eaters rub up on them just for the sake of getting the guys off their backs. Not because they would actually enjoy it…Jax had a way of justifying his poor choices…it was a skill he was taught at young age by his mother as she primed him for a life in SAMCRO.

At that same time, about 15 minutes away, Donna and Tara arrived at Donna's Aunt's house. Her house was up on a hill and Tara and Donna looked down at the city lights. "It's so bright," Tara said… "So pretty…I am glad we did this Donna. I have never been. Never been out of Charming really…other than San Diego. This reminds me there is a great big world outside of Charming…," Tara pondered.

"Do you think Jax and Op are worried?," Donna asked.

"I don't know. It is what it is….they are busy doing their club thing. We have to get used to it. Right? Are we supposed to just sit around?," Tara said.

"Hell, no!," Donna responded, "Let's get ready and head down to that Casino I was telling you about…we are going to have a blast!"

And just like that, Jax, Opie, Tara and Donna, had no idea they were in the same city. And Gemma had no idea that the girls were in Reno as she, Luanne, and others waited to confront them back at the SAMCRO clubhouse in Charming…


End file.
